Derogatory Revisited

The irony of yesterday's post is that this morning I read this article:

"Trampire:" Why the Public Slut Shaming of Kristen Stewart Matters for Young Women

The article touches on such items as what politics is telling young women today, what the media is saying is acceptable and what is not, how the young woman involved (for however much you care about her, or in my case, really don't) is having her reputation smeared across magazine covers and even has had a new word created in her honor degradation and the man involved has had...nothing. Other than a token slap to the wrist, it's launched him to the stratosphere of People magazine, and now people actually know who he is. How men in her position have escaped relatively unscathed for greater crimes (Ashton Kutcher, anyone?).

It is a crying shame that the people we look to for words of advice — if you can even call it that — are continuously calling women out and calling us sluts and whores for things that are our right to choose, what we do with our bodies, how we treat others, and even the mistakes we make.

The thing that brought me near to tears (and the thing you should read even if you don't read the whole article) is the following:

"I might not be concerned for [Kristen Stewart], but I am concerned for my younger stepsister who has pictures of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson on her walls, who idolizes and worships them, and who might grow up to hate Kristen Stewart for reasons she doesn't understand. I'm worried she will be taught that it's not okay to mess up, learn from it and apologize, because no one wants your apology, just your suffering on camera. I'm worried that she'll think its okay to harass and threaten women for their indiscretions, even if men get off scot-free. I'm worried she will think this culture of bullying, slut-shaming and rhetorical violence against women is the norm, because you get a t-shirt for it. I'm worried she will learn to internalize the shame brought on far too many women today, for having sexualities, for not being perfect, for not fitting into a box. I'm worried she'll believe men like Todd Akin, Paul Ryan and Mike Huckabee are right.

"Because even if she doesn't know who Akin, Ryan and Huckabee are, even if she doesn't pay attention to politics or the radical right-wing GOP, she does pay attention to Twilight and [Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson]. And if we want to empower her to be a strong, independently minded woman who knows that her body, sexuality and safety are legitimate and can stand up for her rights, we need to pay attention, too. This might seem ridiculous to us, and most people I know can't wait to stop talking about it. But for her, having this conversation makes a difference. Although no young woman shouldn't think it's okay to cheat, what we are teaching them right now is so much worse."

I can't think of any words more poignant than that. What we are teaching our sisters and daughters, what we are showing our future is that women don't matter. Women are the weaker sex, we deserve less, we're criticized more. When raped, it's our fault; when we screw up, the man is never at fault even though it takes two to tango; when wanting a little more for ourselves in this world, when wanting it to be okay to choose who we want, what we want, when we want, we're sluts, we're trampires.

When all of this isn't true.

It's a crying frickin' shame, is what it is.

So show your sisters, your daughters different. Show your mothers, aunts, and grandmothers who fought so hard for our right to choose that you understand the travesty that the politicians, the celebrities, the faces of our culture are telling us and that it is wrong. That they are wrong.

We are right.

We have rights.

We are not the weaker sex.

We. Are. Woman. Here us roar.

Sorry for the soapbox, but I needed to say it, even if I am preaching to the choir here. Keep strong, keep faith, and keep reminding the world that we're better than that.

Ciao,
kc