Dear Nana

Dear Nana,

It's weird not having you here for my birthday. I'm writing my thank yous, and I know that's something handed down from you, and it just feels weird not writing something that starts with "dear Nana."

I hate that everything now coming from "5 Everett Ct" is no longer from you. Did you know that your address was the first one I remember recognizing? Maybe because it was always accompanied by big boxes filled with more goodies than one little girl could ever dream of.

I'm writing to you because it just feels off-kilter that a whole year and then some has gone by without me writing to you or receiving a single, smokey letter from you. Even the paper you used smelled like cigarettes and Nana's house.

I remember that some of the things you sent took weeks to air out, though often we were too excited by whatever it was to really care that they smelled faintly of smoke.

Opening boxes from you was my favorite part of any gift holiday, because there was never any foreknowledge of what you would send...everything from weird, old, gross panties to wicker dumpling cookers to pretty pretty princess dolls. You were as good as Santa when we we're little, and as I grew older and left home there was always a secret, satisfied happiness that I finally didn't have to share Nana boxes with anyone else.

I'm so glad you were my grandmother, and I'm so grateful for every little thing you ever did for me.

I wish you weren't gone.

I wish you could see me in my pretty white dress and get drunk at my wedding and give everyone sloppy, wet, Nana kisses and tell everyone how wonderful everything was. I'm glad you got to meet Tyler and that you think he is a wonderful young man, and I wish you could see our little family now.

I hope you can.

So, Nana, this year this is your thank you letter. I wish you could get it in the mail.

I love you for always, I miss you forever.

Love,

Your granddaughter

Posted with Blogsy