Healing

I'm sure that you guys are tired of hearing about running, and my back, and how hard it is to be patient and heal and all that good stuff. But tough stuff, you get to hear more about it.

As I was running my fastest time yet since I've been healing (5.29 miles in 52:23 if you must know), and without stopping no less, I had time to think about where I was a couple months ago versus where I am now and how I really have never felt so blessed to be able to move.

Am I 100%? No. Am I close? Or at least a huge leap forward compared to where I was? Yes.

My new running buddy, Bethany, and I ran last Sunday and it was miserable. I ached from workouts the day before, my hamstrings were tight, we were parched, the universe felt against us for that run. When we finished, I cut myself off mid-complaint when I looked at my Garmin and realized, "Hey, we did three miles in 33 minutes...while that's not breaking any records, in March it was taking me 40 minutes to do 2.5 miles."

Returning to running has been so arduous, because like any patient, I don't want to be patient and wait and work slowly through the pain and listen to my body and what its telling me and actually stopping when it says stop rather than going and pushing on like the athlete in me instinctively demands. Tell you what, I've never felt quite so in tune with myself. It's...odd.

Many young stupid runners will tell you that when their body hurts, they push through the pain. Heck, many athletes will tell you that. Those who have been injured occasionally will say, yes, push through, but once you reach that point, stop. I only listened to my body when something was blindingly obvious and simply screeching for my attention, so trying to focus on what my back muscles are doing while I'm running is very counter-intuitive to me. It's a conscious effort, and a constant one.

The stopping bit is hard too...that's why I'm not really supposed to run by myself, because I tend to forget to stop. Because an extra 400 meters won't kill anything will it? And that's where I get into trouble, because it is always that "extra little bit" that exacts the most punishment...

But I'm getting better, and healing, and it's wonderful.

And I couldn't have done it without the whole "team" I've had this time, between my doctor and my PT and my trainer, not to mention my running buddy and my co-workers who inspire me and yell at me, and my friends who tell me about their mileage and make me go !! I want that again!!!

Slow and steady wins the race, and if I'm a little tight this morning, it's no where near the agony I used to have — even heavily medicated...

I'm getting there. Getting better.

I'm healing.

Ciao,
kc