Because I have one. A large one. On days that it's particularly bad in a smartass kind of way, one of my managers will shake his head and say, "So it's one of those days is it?" and then rebuffs the 'tude with strenuous coaching that allows me to get the smart-aleck out of my system before I hit the floor.
It's like he knows me or something.
Mom, no lecturing me for being a smart-aleck. I'm pretty sure it's genetic.
B: is for Broccoli
Because I love it. And adore it. Wes Chesbro (you know, one of the politicians in California? His wife used to run a daycare that I went to when I was little) once told me that they were miniature trees. I think I've been addicted ever since. My favorite is broccoli with the "blue box" mac 'n' cheese. Fake, neon orange cheese has never tasted so good.
C: is for Caring
As a friend, I will always love you. No matter what. I will be there for you when you need me, even if you're not there for me. The only thing that would make me walk away is if you take that caring and throw it in my face.
D: is for Designer
It is my first love and my last love. I will design and do art for the rest of my life.
E: is for Evil Genius
I am not an evil genius. Though it is something to aspire to, but only in the best way possible. In the sense of my love for surprises, I want to be an evil genius. I adore surprising people in a good way. Thinking up the surprise is even better than chocolate.
A couple years ago, two friends and I conspired for our other friend's birthday. We kidnapped her from her work — conspired with her co-workers even to keep her there when we were running late — and treated her to a beauty evening, made her up and gave her a dress and shoes and took her out for drinks. Unfortunately, she ruined the evening later at her party by throwing a tantrum (rather sad as it was her 25th birthday and "It's my birthday and I can cry if I want to" is only cute when you're six).
Last summer, I conspired with my sister to surprise our mother with a visit. I picked her up at the airport in San Fransisco on the way home from a road trip for a friend's wedding and took her home. We knocked on the front door (which no one ever does, really) so when Mom opened the door she was super confused to see us and didn't register immediately that it was my sister home from New York to see her for a whole week. That was probably one of the best presents we've ever given her.
F: is for Friendship
Without my girlfriends (and guyfriends) I would be lost. I just re-lived the whole "new town, no friends" situation for the 3rd time in my life and I must say, it's not a favorite of mine. I desperately miss my friends in SLO (that's you, Siobhan...well, not just you, but hey! Shout out!) and now my Heather is in Portland and that's sad too. But I'm making new friends here in Bend. Like Staci and our neighbors and Staci's boyfriend who is now my State Farm Agent because apparently Geico sucks.
Just saying.
And yes, I did mean to say "my Heather." Well, I didn't at first, but at re-read I liked the look of it, so I left it.
G: is for Goodie Goodie
I used to get taunted with that moniker in middle school. The only thing that's changed since then is I've learned that dying my hair is the bee's knees and I've got ink'd. I'm still a goodie goodie to the bone though. I don't do stuff that's
Okay, maybe I jay walk a little.
H: is for Hot Stuff
Because let's face it, I am.
I: is for Ice Cream
I don't like buying ice cream for one reason: I love eating it. Doesn't even really matter if I don't like that particular flavor all that much, I'll still manage to choke it down. It's problematic.
J: is for Jubilant
I'm bubbly when I wanna be, damn it. No, really. I tend to be bubbly and obnoxiously sunshiney when I'm happy. Which definitely isn't as often as I would really truly like, but it's a good thing right?
I'm also obnoxious in the morning. I have to have a book to read in order to not be. Or just get up and do stuff. Maybe O should be for obnoxious.
K: is for Kristen
Oh, come on. I had to.
L: is for Little Sister
"The most important thing about Kristen is that she has a little sister named Laurel." I once wrote those words for a school project. They're true. My sister is awesome. She is rockin' and super smart, beautiful and has just as much 'tude as I've got. We had some shaky years growing up, but we've finally reached the maturity to be friends again and I am super lucky to have her as my sister...even if at one time I wished we could just put her back.
M: is for Maddie-Cat
Our little Terrorist and ever-popular with guests, she's invaded my life as thoroughly as any other animal has. We have conversations, she tattles on Tyler, and encourages general mayhem. I don't know what we talked about before we got her.
N: is for Noodles
I love noodles. And basically I couldn't think of something else for N. All that would come up was Noodles! But I do eat them often. My other staple is bean and cheese burritos.
O: is for Overshare
If you don't really want to know the answer, don't ask me. Unless we don't know each other that well, I won't even give you the warning shot. If you ask, I will probably tell you. I don't see the point in beating around the bush if you legitimately want to know.
And sometimes I just share without you asking.
P: is for Princess
Because I am one. We know this already. Enough said.
Q: is for Queen
"If they just let me wear the control-the-world helmet all the time, we would just be better off," are words that have dropped from my lips from time to time. My dear friend Robert has said time and time again that I need a shirt that says that. Things just go better that way.
R: is for Running
I love to run. I really do. Once I get my butt out the door and get moving, I love the rhythm, the peace of it and the results most of all!
S: is for Sunshine
I could never permanently live in a place that has sunshine less than half the year. I don't care if it's freezing or sweltering, just so long as I can see the sun shining in a bright blue sky. My mental health is important to me (obviously) and I have learned that I require sunshine.
T: is for Time
I never have enough. I want more for love, laughter and peace of mind. I want more time to spend with the people who mean the most to me. But as we know, right now I have to make my bricks so that I have that time and money later.
U: is for Unwritten
My life is full of things I've written, I'm just waiting for those things that I will write and I hope that someday I have a book published.
V: is for Virtues
As in: patience is not one of them. Boyfriend will attest that I am much happier if I am in the driver's seat. That being said, I do have many other virtues.
Loyalty, honesty, organization. You know, the works.
W: is for Wine
I love wine. It is delicious and fantastic and it makes me tingly and silly.
X: is for eXtreme
Did you know that nothing adjectivial (it's not a real word, I am aware) begins with X? We're going with eXtreme. Because in one sense, I am. At least...I'm told I can be.
Ultimate frisbee is my one "extreme" (that I'll cop to, anyhow). I've recently been told that when talking about it I act and sound "extreme." I am, I suppose. How many people can say that they caught the disc and concussed themselves, but still got up and finished the point in spite of the world spinning?
Yes, I suppose I'm extreme.
Y: is for Yuck
There's a lot of stuff I'm willing to try. Squid, tongue, oysters, kale, cauliflower...I intend to try frogs' legs and snails before I die. I'll never say no to a "no thank you" bite. That being said, I still manage to be the world's pickiest eater (according to everyone who's ever had to go grocery shopping with me).
Peanut Butter? Nope.
Bell peppers? No thanks.
Pork chops? Uh, no.
Nuts? No way.
Bread crumbs for breading stuff? Ick.
Canned vegetables? I'm sorry, that's just not food.
Z: is for Zucchini
Why can't I get it to grow?
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