Oregon Drivers

I drove to Portland and back this "weekend" (my weekend, which by now, we know is irregular. It's Tuesdays and Wednesdays now, in case you were wondering). I saw Heather and met up with Siobhan and had a lovely time eating divine Belgian waffles and omlettes at Mother's Bistro and getting into trouble at Williams-Sonoma and Powell's.

Someday when I have a million dollars, I am going to go to both those stores and spend it all.

Not really, because we know I'm more sensible than that, but you get the idea.

Anyways, the drive reminded me of the greatest irony I have encountered since moving to Oregon: Oregon drivers. The irony is that as a "California Driver" I am supposedly a reckless speed-demon with no regard for lanes, lane-changes, or other drivers and therefore am theoretically the scariest thing out there.

Please note the use of "supposedly" and "theoretically."

Granted, as a California driver, I do go maybe a little faster than your average Oregonian driver. But that's about it.

Before I really go into this, I do need to say one thing I do appreciate (and like!) about Oregon driving laws is the fact that unless you're passing, you are required by law to remain in the right hand lane. That means that for the most part when Grandma is going 30 in a 55 zone, she's where she ought to be and the rest of us can safely pass her. The other thing I like is that in Oregon, you are required to move over into the left lane (if possible) when there's an "emergency vehicle" pulled over.

I am pretty sure I did that before, but having someone get pissed at you and scream by on your right kind of defeats the "safety" purpose (which is what tended to happen in California).

Now, everyone behaves (for the most part, there's always one asshole who can't drive out there on the road) and stays in the right lane when there's two lanes. The problem arises when there are three lanes. Oregon drivers just get so damned confused that they don't know which "right" lane to pick so they end up driving slowest in the middle lane with idiots passing them on both sides and causing general confusion and issues.

*Hand to face*

The next issue (and really, there are only two major issues...now anyways) is stop signs. We all know and love the "California roll" or "California stop." Oregon drivers think that is scary as all get out, but I would argue that at least with both of those "stops" the foot is touching (albeit lightly) the brake. Which is a critical point.

The "Oregon roll" or "Oregon stop" does no such thing. There has been more times in my seven months of living in Oregon than in the nine years that I have been driving and aware of such things that I have seen a person pull up to a stop sign and disregard it entirely.

"Oh, was that a stop sign? Well, it's just a suggestion, not really a rule or anything."

No brake, no token slowing, no nothing. Just...whoops!

It's scariest when I'm running and attempting to cross the street when they do that. I need to carry a bullhorn while I'm running so I can notify the idiots. Hollering doesn't seem to affect them any.

Luckily, they do believe in stop lights. Thank god.

And they say I'm the scariest thing out there. Nice try though.

Ciao,
kc